The Book of Geir

The King of Shambhala often backs up his arguments by quoting the Bible, typically saying a sentence in quotes and adding "(Bible)" to the end. He doesn't specify the chapter or verse, and since the quotes he give do not appear in any edition of the Bible, scholars believe that he is quoting from the long-lost Book of Geir, an apocryphal Biblical book that only exists inside his own head. Let's try and keep track of his statements here so that we all might learn from them.

But remember! Geir himself has said "I don’t believe in God, Jesus or the Bible", "I’ve never actually read the Bible" and "I just browse Wiki and don’t own a Bible which is a good thing to me meaning I think the Bible’s so much crap".

Phrases Geir has tacked "(Bible)" to the end of:-

  • "It’ll require a man of wisdom to calculate the number of the Beast 666." (Bible)
  • “No one, not even the Son of God, knows the time and hour when the truth will come like lightning falling to earth and like a thief coming at night.” (Bible)
  • “In the end times the messagers of the Apocalypse spend their time throwing everybody into hell.” (Bible)
  • “In the Apocalypse, the Church will to totally destroyed by false christs corrupting it from inside” (Bible)
  • “In the Apocalypse, the Church will be destroyed by false christs inside it.” (Bible)
  • “In the Apocalypse all those claiming to come from me are liars” (Jesus Christ)
  • "False christs will claim they know the way but beware of them." (Bible)
  • "All chruches including the Christian Chruch will be destroyed in the Apocalypse, in by false christs corrupting it from within." (Bible)
  • “Many false christs will come at the time of the Apocalypse anc claim they are me.” (Bible)
  • "this article’s not published / that’s no glitch / nobody’s publishing these pictures that’s no glitch / that’s a political wish / that’s not throwing the book at Obama" (Bible) *
  • "Excrement is dirty." (Bible)
  • "The Antichrist doesn’t fight back and like a lamb, he oozes his blood without a murmur." (Bible)
  • "You know the Antichrist is gay?" (Bible)
  • “No one knows the day or hour of the Apocalypse, not even the son of the father, only the father knows.” (That’s me, the son.)*
  • “There are two trees of wisdom,: the Tree of Knoweldge (Modern Science) and it bears fruit of poison and the Tree of Life (Religious wisdom) and it bears fruit of eternal life” (Bible)
  • "Obama is a sinful, incestful homo." (Bible)
  • "People who have hated any one single person in this life will be turned away from heaven by the Door Keeper , so love all beings in this life." (Bible)
  • "The Apocalypse was said to be tough for everyone. Few will survive. Says the Bible. (Bible)"*
  • I accept the Bible saying “Many will be alled but few will be chosen (and 99,9999% will be thrown in the hell by Messiah Geir Smith and his Messengers of the Apocalypse that don’t include the obots heckling and baiting at BIN)” *
  • "I reveal the truth and throw all demonics into hell. That’s my job (Bible)."
  • "The Antichrist will be a homo" (Bible)
  • "Not one Christian will survive the Apocalypse all will burn in hell. (Bible)" *

Indirect quotations:

  • "idiots who don’t see it and spread the news of the antichrist obama and his mark of the beast – in the pictures above in this article – will burn in his hell of the lake of fire and brimstone along with him, says the bible"
  • "Yes [B4IN user], the Bible says one in 50000 only will be saved by following me." *
  • "It should be spread even to China by the media, Internet etc… and we’ll be saved in heaven, by doing all that: the work of the Messengers of the Apocalypse (as says the Bible.)"

Interpretations:

  • "I’m lurked by false christs. Bible said it would be so."
  • "Saying people get bitter about this topic well the Bible say they turn into pillars of salt (which are bitter) if they indulge in this."

Close reading:

  • "(Lott’s Wife) “Turn away from Sodom and don’t turn because if you turn back you’ll turn into a pillar of salt.” That says homos go to hell. Turning into a pillar of salt and going to hell’s the same."

Best Bible reading ever, from 2011:

  • "Don’t turn back at Sadam and Gomorrah (Bible Quote) it’s the Antichrist’s Abomination. Pederasts. Beasts. (Bible quote!) Bible quote Bible quote Bible quote / hahahahaha / Animals! Beast of the Abomination. / Oh, and one last thing: excrement smells bad just so you know it. Pederasts stink to hell. Now go sob in hell. (Bible guoiggle)" *

He returned to the Sodom theme many times over the next two years, confusing it with a report he thinks he read once about gay men dying younger than straight men (most likely just from this debunked Catholic quote). For example, in 2013 he was frothing:

  • "Because homos die of infection which is what “turning into a pillar of salt” means in the Bible, it means “dying of infection” so don’t turn back to look at Sodom which means sodomy aka being a homo i.e. eating feces and having sex up the anal rectum and having filthy sex like the commenters on this article who are all homos."

Ask the Master:

  • Master: It won’t be hard to defeat Obama. “The Antichrist doesn’t fight and gives up to defeat like a lamb oozing it’s blood without a murmur” (Bible)
  • Student: Could you include book chapter and verse with this quote you made please, KOS ?
  • Master: I don’t where it is. Ask Bible scholars. I read it once. *

Geir's religion:

  • "I’m not Christian. Jesus is a zombie, an undead. I’m not Christian i’m Buddhist and follow the Apocalypse prophecy of the Kalachakra Teaching which announces the Antichrist-like demon figure will be of a mix of Bible faiths (Islam Christianity AND JEWISH – in the Kalachakra prophecy in black and white letters no one can deny them)." *

Geir drops by this article to add:-

  • Obama did 24% in the debate to Romney's 67% so my life-work is done and obama's defeated. Thank everyone for their help in spraeding the good news Obama's Satan-in-Person.

So it looks like he's done! The "Apocalypse" was just "Obama does poorly in a televised debate", even though Geir never thought to mention this in advance, and that debate has now ended. That was the apocalypse! I hope you all had a good one. Goodnight everybody.